Newt, what the fuck are you talking about?

I was sitting around my house today with nothing to do. I turned on the news like I always do. BORING! I'm so tired of hearing about the floods. Don't get me wrong i'm not that cold hearted. I just belive there is more going on in the world than a replay of Noah's ark.

So I turn on my computer and go to my favorite blog brickbat. Always very informative and very funny. Today He had a video of Chuck Norris Talking about drilling for more oil in america.

Ok, anything with Chuck Norris in it I have to watch. So I did. As always very funny, but it got me thinking. How much money will we really save if we really do drill in America more. So i starting Googling. The very first site I pulled up was humanevents.com. A conservative site. Well since they are leading the "lets drill America" campaign, I thought they must have some real numbers on how we will save at the pump. No.

Instead, their site sends me to an article that crazy old Newt Gingrich wrote for them. I thought Jimmy Carter could ramble on and on and on about nothing important. Nope we have a new king, King Gingrich of Ramble.

Remember, all I wanted was some numbers.

The title of his article is Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less. It should have been let me bash the liberals in Congress for "voting to block environmentally sound production of U.S. energy in favor of continuing to be held hostage to oil from foreign dictatorships." That's his words by the way.

He starts off by telling us that the liberals voted for a $150 billion tax increase. "They voted to make your next trip to the gas station more expensive; to make your next airplane ticket more expensive; to make heating your home more expensive -- even to make feeding your family more expensive."

Yet still no numbers of how much money we will save if we drill more in America. That is all I'm looking for.

"My Dad, Your Dad, and the Importance of History". That the next segment in his article. What does that have to do with drilling in America? FUCKING NOTHING! That's what.

He goes on to talk about how his dad was a career army officer. Not an oil man, so once again nothing to do with oil or gas prices.

"When I was fifteen, Dad took me to visit the battlefield at Verdun, in France. It was the bloodiest battle of World War I, one of the bloodiest wars of the 20th century. As I came to understand the tremendous destructiveness of the battle -- and the distinct possibility that its outcome could have been different -- I knew that I would devote the rest of my life to standing between civilization and the madness of places like Verdun."

What the fuck does that have to do with the price of gas? Nothing!

Newt's next segment. "A Vote That Would Make a Difference in People's Lives". Ok i think to myself this must be the part where he talks about the price of gas and oil and how much less we will pay for both. Close, but no.

He talks about the price of oil and how much it has gone up. His real agenda is putting blame on the liberals in congress.

"Who's to blame for our high gas prices? The oil companies? The Saudis? OPEC? The answer, unfortunately, is closer to home: The "No-We-Can't" Left in Congress."

He goes on to talk about the magical 1 trillion barrels of oil trapped in shale in the U.S. and Canada. GREAT, but how much less am I going to pay at the pump old man ramble?

Now get this...the next segment in his article is titled "Saudi Arabia Did More Last Week to Lower Gas Prices Than Congress Did". WOW! How about you put that wrap you have on your head (oh wait thats your hair) and move your old ass to Saudi Arabia. Damn, why not just piss on the American flag next?

"The Left just doesn't seem to get it. They spent much of last week ridiculing the President for visiting Saudi Arabia in an effort to lower oil prices."

The left understands that it's not important to suck a Saudi's ass to get lower oil prices. They understand it's important to look for alternative energy sources. Sources that does not make us have to skip through a garden holding hands with some smelly Saudi. I sure hope the President washed his hands after that.

Yet, I digress. Back to old man ramble.

"While liberals were voting to prevent domestic production from oil shale, the Saudis, following President Bush's visit, agreed to boost their oil output by 300,000 barrels a day. It won't fix the problem, but at least it won't make it worse, which is exactly what liberals in Congress did last week."

How is that going to lower the gas prices? We are still going to pay the same price for the oil. We are just buying more now. Way to lower the prices.

Oh, speaking of lowering the gas prices...HOW MUCH LESS AM I GOING TO PAY AT THE PUMP IF WE DRILL MORE IN AMERICA? Still no answer.

The next segment " The Left's Answer: More Pain, Not More Production". Pointless. Absolutely nothing for me to talk about there. He should have never waisted his time on that one.

Next segment "Change Jimmy Carter Can Believe In". What? I thought we were talking about oil and gas prices.

"We can't tell [other countries], don't grow. We can't -- drive our SUVs and you know, eat as much as we want and keep our homes on you know, 72 degrees at all times, and whether we're living in the desert or we're living in the tundra, and then just expect that every other country's going to say OK." ,Obama.

"First, I'm used to my doctor telling me I can't eat as much as I want, but it sounds eerie coming from a politician. Is the "No We Can't" Left planning to ban the buffet line as well?"

Come on old man ramble. Food? I thought we were talking about gas. I know I was talking about gas. Remember, my question was how much less are we going to pay at the pump not at the buffet. Why do old people's minds always wander to coffee and biscuits or buffets?

Now he tries to tell us that the energy shortage is not permanent. Like it wasn't in the '70's. Ok so the price of gas went down a little but it never returned to the way it should have. He goes as far as calling the energy shortage "an artificial creation of stupid government policies."

I think old man ramble forgot the title of his article. Lets remind him: "Drill Here, Drill Now, Payless."

What does any of what he wrote have to do with that title and will someone please tell me how much less i will pay at the pump and do you think its worth sucking smelly Saudi ass to get it?